Confessions of a Disillusioned Knight
by Bella Ragazza
Summary: I suppose the title pretty much speaks for itself this time...it's a monologue from a certain character, describing his sweet rise to power and his crushing defeat. Please, give it a try...rather different from usual fics.


Confessions of a Disillusioned Knight-- by General Beatrix  
  
A/N: Ok--I did some experimenting with a different style here--I don't think I need to tell you who the speaker is though. ^-^ It's written from a first-person narrative, I guess you'd call it a monologue. No need to babble on, I think the title speaks for itself--so enjoy, and let me know what you think.  
  
  
  
Some people don't know the exact instant where their life changes forever, the major turning point where fate does a 360 and leaves you reeling, spinning out of control. I do. Bitch left me face down in it's dust....Yeah, you know me, so don't pretend like you don't. I'm the asshole, the screw-up, the failure, the goddamn devil reincarnate if you will. Whatever you choose won't faze me, cause I've heard 'em all, believe you me. People avoid me like the black plague. I can actually see fear in their eyes, the sheer terror, when I walk down a street. I am a pariah, a real leper of society.  
  
But really, I'm not the bad guy here. I was used....Wait, don't roll your eyes. Let me explain--none of you know the real story anyway, so you shouldn't talk. I was just a man with a dream or two....don't you people have dreams? Dreams of power, riches, beautiful women? Every man's got his own guilty desires that eat him up inside, longing to be fulfilled. We all secretly crave for things we know we can't have, and makes them seem all the more enticing.... It's like the Garden of Eden. That fruit looks mighty tempting doesn't it? But what happens when you cast all reason and logic aside, and go and pluck that delectable morsel from the vine? I didn't think that way at the time though...all I knew was what I wanted--and I wanted to be a Knight. Call it my romantic dream, if you wish.  
  
That fated day at the Timber TV Station...I remember it as clear as day. My beautiful sorceress...she was like an illusion, an enchanting vision. This ethereal purple glow surrounded her lithe body as she glided towards me. I'll never forget those eyes...shimmering golden yellow....like a blazing sun she bore into my soul with those hypnotizing twin pools. My body was on fire as she crooked a slender gloved finger, drawing me closer to her breathtaking apparition. Her face was so close to mine, I longed to brush my lips with hers, to caress her cheek...an angel in devil's clothing. She spoke, a voice that purred like a contented cat. She told me to choose....to choose my path....I knew then that my destiny was in my hands, waiting to be molded like putty. My dream was becoming a reality.   
  
Nothing felt better than being on that float in the parade. Me and my lady, doted upon by thousands of cheering spectators. She was as regal as a queen then, a true vision of beauty sitting at her elaborate throne. I was there by her side, as a Knight should. Standing proud while brandishing my Hyperion, smirking at the blurred faces of the public. I looked down smugly at them from my place of honor high above. It was such a rush...I was tasting the sweet liquor of power, sipping from that golden goblet of respect. The cheers were for me this time... for once in my life I wasn't reminded about how much of a screw-up I was, and it felt like heaven.  
  
I strove to please my beautiful queen, doing her bidding, no matter how heinous the request. Blood of countless innocents spilled like a crimson river at my hands. Lives were lost. People suffered in misery. Yet I couldn't see through the veil of lies my love had pulled over my eyes, blinding me from the realization of my actions. Rational thought was not a luxury I had... I was fiendishly and ruthlessly manipulated. A puppet, yanked viciously by it's strings. All the while I had gone on believing I had the upper hand, that I was the winner. Alas, I was no more than a mere lapdog, a vessel to aid the sorceress in her relentless quest for control. Sadly, I found out too late....  
  
Time was nearly compressed, but thanks to my 'perfect as Hyne himself' rival and his ever-present lackeys, the world was saved....Sometimes I wish they hadn't-- Maybe I would have been better off dead than to live with this legacy. I know I'll be forever blighted by the role I played in this tragedy. It's a taint on my name that'll go down in the records of history. Generations from now, people will read those books and loathe me, thinking how much of a soulless, disgusting bastard I had to be. I'll bet the last gil in my pocket that they won't realize how used and betrayed I was. People have a way of only believing what they want to believe.  
  
Learn from me, my friends. Don't give in to those burning desires, no matter how enticing the rewards seem-- Don't foolishly pick that fruit from the vine, it may just have a worm in it, like mine did...  
  
  
~Fin~  
  
*Well, there it is...I hope you guys read it, and, ya know...review if ya wanna *wink wink* ....I know it's really different from the usual stuff here, but I took a chance--Hugs, Cassie*  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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